Thursday, June 21

mLife 1.1

Having been on campus for the last week and half..
I have been introspecting hard and long, given the enormous amounts of leisure time at hand, about what I have achieved so far in my existence..
Starting as a kid, I was innocent to a fault..
And for a surprisingly long time, till my adolescence, I remained absolutely naive about worldly matters.. believing that every human was fair, just and malice was unknown to me..

Then started the pangs of teenage, and during all of 7 years, I went through all the trials and tribulations that every teenager goes through..
Had my fair share of crushes, betrayal, rough dealings with thuggish peers, lying through your teeth..
Was academically good though.. mind you..
Two board exams with more than decent marks, and I was feeling on top of the world when I was preparing for my Engineering Entrance exams..
IIT JEE was a nightmare..
AIEEE provided some respite..
And I landed up in BIT, Mesra.

That is when it all started.
Completely carefree, this was when and where my life took a sea change..
My own funda of doing my own thing, no matter what the cost was, led to several ups and downs - some of which still continue to haunt me..
It was the present moment that mattered most to me - If I felt like doing something, I HAD to do it..
I'd not give a thought about what the consequences would be.. Was ready to accept responsibility for my own actions.
Easier said than done.
Never before had I known how tough it is to face your own actions..
Conscience was always needling you with doubts whether the path I'd chosen was good or not..
But temptation led me on my path, and I gave in to it.. completely..
The first victim were my grades.. from ok-types to absolutely average, my grades steadily declined.. but the lure of AOE and the absolute freedom of night-life kept me hooked..
By the time I'd reached 3rd year, all my principles went down down the drain...
Except for some macabre bundle of ethics that I possessed and took pride in (Which was the major factor in endearing me to a great many people, despite my eccentric and sometimes foolish behaviour) I had NOTHING left that I could take pride in as a human being.


Meantime, I re-discovered my passion for programing, and endless hours were spent in front of the computer. Armed with the conviction that talent NEVER goes unrewarded when the right amount of hard work is put in, I was foolish enough to NOT apply the same funda to my acads.
Day-by-day my grades went down, as my coding skills improved.
Home front was deteriorating, and i was getting increasingly estranged from my folks..
Entering the final year, my life looked in a mess.. and the coming placements seemed the only way to give some purpose and direction to my life.
Given my current lifestyle, I had just ONE question-"Can I do it?"

More of this later..
-ONE
Every man has but one destiny. I don't know mine :(