Slam! Bang! Ouch!

How many of you ppl have driven a car? And how many have dashed a two wheeler on the road? And how many fortunate souls found out that the guy in front is a tholu(police wallah)? And how many of you actually said,"Agar tez chalaaye hote, toh gaadi kya, ap bhi nahi bach paate." before finding out his true identity?

Welcome to the club.... Thursday evening ws as eventful as it could ever be...
Having gone to the reservation office for some tickets, I fell short of cash. Had to hurry home, and en-route, on the busiest mile-long stretch in Jampot, I see this stupid OR14D,8933 Hero Honda CD100SS riding smack in the middle of the road, without a care in the world, with a long stretch of empty road in front of him. I honk him thrice, the third one being as long as Beethoven's Ninth Symphony (The actual duration might be conjectural, but remember relativity?) Some time later, the guy pulls to the left, and I move forward... There's a three wheeler, and as all notorious three wheelers, this one is as erratic in speeding up n slowing down as one could be... I ease into third gear, slow down, and the gap between the tempo's rear and my car increases just a bit...
Whoosh... into the gap squeezes this CD100SS fucker...
And God decides it is time to teach me a lesson (for what reason? I now wonder)... the tempo wallah applies brakes suddenly... The CD100SS goes smack into the rear of the tempo n stops...
I too apply the brakes, and CRUNCH!!! The CD100 makes a nice filling between the sandwitch of 3 and 4 wheelers...
The tempo wallah decides that... I dunno.. He speeds away. The angel of a guy that this fuckfaced biker is, gets down hi sbike, makes me pull over, and with a steady stream of God-forsaken language asks me,"Iska paisa kaun bharega?"
God only knows how these hot-blood surges work, and I wish I can control them.. but at that time I cannot. saying,"Paisa se matlab hai na? Toh hum denge. Pehle hisab lagate hain."
And off we march to the nearby Hero Honda Workshop. The damage is not much. The rear mudguard is slightly bnt, and the horn needs re-wiring... How the horn-wires got entangled into this crunch, I cannot figure out... But the figure that is most perplexing is 726INR... the cost for a new rear mud guard. I immediately call up my dad, and wait.
Meanwhile, this guy, the darling that he is, starts threatening me, right in front of the stud-in-one-ear 25 something owner of the workshop... "Bahut josh hai, nahi?"
"Abhi sab hawa nikal denge tumhari"
"Aankh sar pe chadhake rakhe ho"
"Kismat hai tumhari, gaadi ka daemaige (yeah, he pronounces it that way) kam hai"
"Gadi tez chalaane ka aadat pad gaya hai, nahi?"

My mind starts a retort,"Teri maa ki %@#$*..."
but audibly I only say,"Agar tez chalaaye hote, toh gaadi kya, aap bhi nahi bach paate."
At which his eyebrows rise. And his cheekbones. Danger signals.
And he looks every bit of the corrupt sipahi that he is. And I am scared. Shit scared.
Literally quaking all over. Then the stud-in-my-ear guy says softly,"Pay him off. Right here."

Over the next 3 hours, dad settles the problem. Gets his bike repaired by a local mechanic, who's an old friend of his. Costs some 400 bucks. And I get just one warning from my dad,"Next time, make sure it isn't a next time."
He is sort of relieved, I guess, that no loss of life/limb has occured. And the bill isn't in 5 figures. Like the one last year.
What had happened was.......
But that's another story...
worthy of it's own post.

Till then,
Safe driving

-ONE